HOW TO BE A FATHER

Content is a personal opinion of writer as a father base on personal knowledge and experience 

 How to be a father? It is a question that no one can answer, Even I. Same question as "bata-bata pano ka ginawa" (Title of Famous Movie) how do you answer that question. Simple yet intriguing isn’t it? Funny but try to analyze. Being a father doesn’t just mean your girlfriend or wife gets pregnant then after nine (9) months you truly become a father. I am married for about 1 year and 4 months this coming May 18 and I have a son whose name is Jaren. I admit that time is really an issue; I am working more than 8 hours a day from Monday to Saturday and another extra hour on Sundays just to make sure that my account flow very smooth by the way I’m a CS in one of big E-commerce industry in the country. What about my family? Yes, I earn a lot, I make sure that all debt are paid monthly, I’ll make sure I pay the rent, we have rice, gas etc. I am doing this because I am a father, a husband, and a breadwinner.  ‘M I really a father did my position explains my action? I have seen a Facebook post from my wife; 

Son: Dad how much did you earn for a day? Dad: Why?! (High pitch) Son: I just want to know. Dad: if I tell you how much I’m earning a day will that help you to stop (a little anger) But the child still insists, with a bit disappointment on his face Dad: I’m earning 500 per day  Son: may I lend 20 pesos, please  Dad: why do you need 20 pesos? What for? (High pitch, and angry) I am not working just for your caprice  Then the father told him to go to his room. After few minutes of analyzing why his son is asking for money (guilt). He then finally realizes why not asks my son in a very sensitive way in a fatherly manner, because he never asks any money ever. Maybe he really needs it. Knock! Knock!  Knock!  Dad: Son! Are you still awake?  Son: Yes dad The father gave 20 pesos to his son, and then the boy gets the box where he keeps all his money; the father gets shocked after seeing his son is counting a lot of money. Dad: why do you ask for 20 pesos and yet you have more (high pitch)  Son: Because my money isn’t complete yet I only have 480, dad here’s 500 pesos I will pay your day just for you to be with me. (Innocently)

The entire story tells that all he wants is to spend time with his dad that is the reason why innocent boy saves and lend, just to get his father attention and time for a day.  There are also television shows in some country like Kidnap wherein they kidnap their dad just to spend time with them. Showing how the head of the family are too busy making money for their families and forgot the reason why. I honestly say I am guilty not just about the story; I am guilty that I cannot spend a time to my son because I’m working hard for their need.   It’s easy to become a father but to be a father is not. I am still in the process of learning and even now can’t tell you how. It’s a self-learning, self-understanding and own procedure it’s not like science lab class that in order for a student to understand “how” you have to document its experiment. To be a father is trial and error no right or wrong process different approach different person different needs.  No need to get married or to make love or to have sex just to be a father, being a father is in your heart. If you want to know that you’re ready to be a father. You have to feel it deep within you, No one can judge you nor questioned you how you raised you family because of again no perfect formula. I still remember my Prof. in Philosophy who also our wedding sponsor told us “Ang pamilya nyo and inyong traing ground para makagawa na magandang pamilya, kapag hindi maganda ang pamilyang pinanggalingan mo dapat gawin mong paganda ang pamilyang bubuohin mo, kapag maganda ang pamilyang pinangalingan mo gawin mong mas maganda ang pamilyang  bubuohin mo” . You have to create your most beautiful way, process and procedure on how to be a father. Being a father is a continuous learning process nonstop experiment without guideline no right or wrong. Just be you, put your heart on it, do some effort, do your best. Because no one knows How To be a Father just you and yourself alone. I am a father 2-year-old boy and a father at heart my name is MJ Camacho Gaspi and I am Mr. Channel of Goodwill.